The promise of lawn sprinklers in the sun, that’s all over now.

He still has the dream in which he’s continued working on his long-abandoned novel and only now, after all these years, realizes he will have to start over. He always wakes with a heaviness in his chest. It wasn’t until after his father died that he recognized the feeling. He’d always sensed life had a plan for him, and he’d been right. There just aren’t any words for it.

Active language receptors, but no coherent brain function.

Could you be a little less oracular? It’s irritating AF.

I’ve seen you puke a thousand times. All through the nineties when we went out drinking five nights a week—I can’t remember a single one that didn’t end with your chunks on my chucks.  Were you my friend? I put up with you. And now, ridiculously, you’re a republican. I demand reparations.

All-purpose advice: wire now, detonate later.

never not trying too hard

Things to avoid: mirrors, clocks.