When he stepped out to get the paper the sun was shining, and he realized for the first time in months that he wasn’t scared. Maybe this was how it was for people. Maybe this was what he could hope for.

When someone tells you they’re behind you “1000 percent,” you know you’re on the way out.

When she was little and saw something she liked, she would simply say, “Have it.” And although I know that you, despite this happiness, would rather die than go back, I’d give everything I have to hear it one more time.

The standing O triggered another harrowing bout of imposter’s syndrome.

I suspect the only true answer to pretty much anything is maybe.

They consistently allowed themselves to be at their worst with each other, which when you think about it is kind of beautiful.

Everything you think, feel, and say, compounded daily.

My aunt had a big old chunky hand-carved Dubrovnik set she picked up in Yugoslavia in the early 80s. Each piece was over 5 feet tall and moved around on a football field-sized board with an elaborately geared system of pulleys and levers. Tournaments were winner-take-all affairs, with the losers consigned to tower jail cells. In the event of a draw both players were executed.

Your hearing starts to go, and then your vision—preparation for leaving this world.

Messages on walls or mirrors, invariably perceived as more urgent than those typed on a computer.

Last night, the most wonderful dream: Dad still alive. It was all a mistake after all. He was standing in a sunny field. Tears streamed down my face. He smiled and held out his hand. He said: turn off your television. Stop your drinking. Put aside the things that do you no good.
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Woke suddenly. Ringing in ears. Shortness of breath. Pain in chest, jaw, upper arm. Poured drink. Turned on television. Acceptance.

In the fullness of the bleakness of late November a nod of gratitude for this day. Everything else is dust.