My aunt had a big old chunky hand-carved Dubrovnik set she picked up in Yugoslavia in the early 80s. Each piece was over 5 feet tall and moved around on a football field-sized board with an elaborately geared system of pulleys and levers. Tournaments were winner-take-all affairs, with the losers consigned to tower jail cells. In the event of a draw both players were executed.

That dreadful moment when you realize you’re despised.

When you see someone you know on the street do you:
1) make contact
2) avoid contact
·
When you’re in front of a mirror, do you:
1) look
2) avoid looking

It took him a while to realize that what he thought of as ‘acting like a jerk’ was what other people called ‘being a jerk.’

Alone in his hotel room he wrote:
I am strong. I am unafraid.
He took a sip of his drink and added:
I am over it.
He sat back and looked at what he had written.
None of it was true.
But for the first time in years, he could imagine it.

It took many years to understand how short a year is.

Fourteen year old girl, April 19, 2009
Today is Thursday. I saw my therapist. We doubled the dosage.
All I can think is one more time from the beginning.

At some point that year they renounced activities that assumed the existence of a viable future.